With his tweets, his manic interviews, his insurgent campaign against the entertainment world, Sheen is giving America exactly what it wants out of a modern celebrity. In this week’s Newsweek, Bret Easton Ellis explains how you are completely missing the point if you think Sheen’s meltdown is about drugs.

“Drugs” is the first word Charlie Sheen utters in his only scene from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, a cinematic relic from 1986. It takes place in a police station where Jeannie Bueller (Jennifer Grey), waiting to get bailed out by her mom and fuming about brother Ferris’s charmingly anarchic ways (he breaks all the rules and is happy; she follows all the rules and is unhappy), realizes she’s sitting next to a gorgeous (he was!) sullen-eyed dude in a leather jacket who looks like he’s been up for days on a drug binge. But he’s not manic, just tired and sexily calm, his face so pale it’s almost violet-hued. Annoyed, Jeannie asks, “Why are y,91559,16106,95208,94709,79228,63092,47231,99657,57333,52862,57996,26519,41347,61724,86296,14394,29074,96160,77899,67013,57146,34412,25746,27187,32946,24654,13717,82519,31013,28629,25665,89458,15344,47747,33479,87941,74812,94486,28238,42335,11509,89014,83360,95126,19019,67179,45692,62352,12246,65976,19905,46600,11693,39770,48142,57908,92532,45255,79017,83665,96234,86518,47127,67288,84814,25690,93306,12245,77915,55904,97549,51921,28377,77220,63653,27633,24508,58232,81103,58641,69748,30812,66943,62575,39792,78133,68224,37451,76691,41737,21421,54584,54157,58828,63351,76054,27689,83316,38689,66937,32488,77003,60190,71074,94345,55288,44820,74436,21331,41575,40673,54924,38708,84352,84594,49248,99895,90497,52516,46236,87035,48828,22329,91135,86393,61702,78734,48982,45581,59447,83327,77019,60226,75201,63131,54335,57856,42617,43359,38993,12255,68267,79810,20806,54466,62862,36294,41089,11371,30704,44476,91364,53508,36465,82319,83820,44932,17021,47593,10872,68503,97884,53475,44162,19027,20865,24508,57526,64968,30501,66449,74697,83653,53874,41270,34213,22926,84449,25821,46279,75299,97226,75061,84292,22943,35690,62411,26323,24188,94552,84689,91305,17075,39193,23185,55530,41299,94477,20873,83612,62932,80897,27330,43550,78246,30720,59913,73270,21114,31786,46844,50277,10912,34999,11276,92558,20105,53732,31432,61447,91853,30491,98616,50533,99071,15147,10040,77230,99941,39486,77069,31289,62636,29225,38176,47502,77452,32915,69321,73919,41014,12533,87537,57588,72491,47213,37949,31018,17483,48079,72424,30592,32413,25913,99417,34752,34766,86913,10589,78440,80329,80157,20193,35947,99540,68368,33570,37902,72545,99081,66001,20074,34350,61430,42996,32526,21944,62030,41640,58793,60451,37227,25286,18068,51284,87254,34842,81129,25947,67385,36429,12483,67058,13775,21069,34106,26972,50667,23058,79288,21265,98163,74319,59394,21454,97746,12536,25885,99724,68290,11927,20154,84304,62834,62315,28251,67590,67006,36271,92997,68182,94552,63420,37744,45343,41769,85790,60519,35374,48804,51942,81101,66113,81016,46165,15175,44179,69978,60608,96107,51087,54208,71235,37575,56558,62660,44956,69727,75779,31606,72352,19084,21057,14141,55623,70596,51310,10937,20297,68925,32962,42729,46922,96488,44847,32540,52781,21511,53557,69450,85810,39594,57818,90347,54710,53880,34747,74790,19136,20481,90537,99939,99117,44553,41134,46271,14451,12279,44070,87894,19609,36972,19879,43154,77559,77590,14965,85237,72093,61637,40351,19072,19835,24962,86567,90958,24950,97898,89160,44546,66995,26149,15607,85035,52937,53704,54555,21370,58672,69673,16744,58530,77275,85582,41300,26054,90275,41998,38660,98008,13036,81173,63305,80605,66458,99997,34369,32396,82808,65597,64697,31792,35146,39147,63770,45453,15278,55052,40556,84077,41323,59953,19454,91411,38794,45240,67452,61444,12805,50384,88489,43989,45139,36618,67067,28180,65881,71772,37719,95694,41389,10644,47075,25713,38173,69695,48638,13564,70395,34726,72723,23911,38175,74581,27263,99499,65858,87429,30478,15440,10041,90164,86770,15976,85375,18525,91632,26039,55298,45346

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